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I would like to thank everyone who has donated to me. I am always very surprised when I receive a donation and very grateful.
Thank you,
Catherine.
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Emotions
Emotional Processing
I have been listening to Jesus and Mary’s talks on forgiveness and repentance and thought it was about time I began to forgive my mother for the way she treated me.
I am finding that processing emotions can happen in many different ways. Sometimes an emotion comes up and I can begin crying straight away, other times it takes some time or I completely dismiss the emotion. And then like the other night, I awoke in the morning feeling lethargic, uninterested in anything, wandering around a little like a zombie.
The wandering around like a zombie kept up all day. I talked to myself about the feeling, talked to God about the feeling I had and what did it mean. My resistance to feeling what was going on must have been very strong.
After not sleeping very much, at 3.30am, I went into fear. As usual I just went with what ever came up. So I was calling out ,screaming etc. I then went into anger and went with that, walking around the bedroom with my basher hitting pillows, the bed and the coverings. I became breathless and discovered I was not breathing, stopped till I got my breath back and then went on with the anger. Then at last I began crying.
The thing was I still didn’t feel any better, usually afterwards, going through what happened during the night, I do feel a little better. The emotion that came up when I was crying was what I have been focusing on for some time now, an event in my childhood that was very painful emotionally.
I said to a friend about not feeling any relief after crying and he said it maybe something in me that was preventing God from being able to help me.
So when I came home I had a good think about what I really felt about the punishment of my mother, both physical when a small child and verbal when older. This is what I found out.
- I believed, as a child, I deserved the punishment. I had been told from a very early age I was evil and everything bad that happened was my fault. I still believe, emotionally, what she said.
- I believed that if I took the blame that everything, even if I didn’t know what she was talking about, was my fault the punishment would not happen. And at times if I said it was my fault, punishment did not happen.
- I did not want to believe my family was so dysfunctional.
- I did not want to believe my mother was so cruel and hateful towards me and only me. So I must be to blame.
- I did not want to believe my mother wanted to kill me.
Emotionally I have been carrying the belief that I was to blame and I had a loving family for 72years. Intellectually I have known for many years but I wanted to believe the lies she told me. Ironically I married someone who also believed that everything was my fault. God is trying to help us all the time by the Law of Attraction, I did not listen.
My mother died when I was 34years of age and I wondered why nothing changed. I now understand.
I now know that God can now help me if I give up my emotional belief systems. I also know if I do not give up my emotional beliefs I will remain in fear of being attacked, I will remain in physical pain, I will remain unhappy and I will never be able to forgive my mother. I will also not get very far with repentance.
Meat production is currently the largest cause of environmental destruction on the planet
This is a talk I gave at the Volunteer Selection Program
If you look at this logically, the CAUSE is the eating of meat and the EFFECT is the destruction
The purpose of this project is to inform the world, that eating meat, is causing the greatest environmental destruction of the on the planet.
Why do People eat Meat?
They like the taste of meat
People think it is natural to eat meat, it is far from natural;
1 Cattle and prime lambs eat grass, grain or anything else the farmer wants to feed them. What is natural is the grass they eat
2 There is nothing natural with cattle in a feed lot, or in US in what they call a factory farm. 99% of farm animals in the US are raised in factory farms
Nutritionists;
1 tell their clients that meat is a good source of protein, iron and vitamin B12, they do not tell them what other food is a good source
2 they also do not tell them what harm eating meat can do to their bodies
Graziers;
1 meat is readily available
2 there is no cost
3 they eat what they produce
Cultural and Religious Reasons
1 Some religions have special days, when it is traditional to eat certain foods, that includes meat
2 Feasts e.g. birthdays, celebrations, Christmas, Easter
3 People are now wanting larger servings and more marbling in their meat, thus causing more stress to the animals as they are forced to eat food that is not their natural grass diet. The stress caused at the abattoir often results in, what is called, black meat. This meat is unable to be used for human consumption and goes into blood and bone products
Why do You Eat Meat?
Advertising:
In Australia every time you sell an animal, there is a Levi you pay to the Meat and Livestock Organisation, a portion of which is paid to advertising of the product.
In America the Cow Lobby is one of the most powerful groups influencing the Government
Subsidies:
In Europe and other countries, grazers are paid to produce animals for meat consumption
How Much do People Know and Do They Care?
Most consumers of fish and salmon know that they are farmed. The fish are fed waste animal products or fish and other creatures, dragged from the bottom of the sea, causing unbelievable damage and the area may never regenerate
In developing countries, where most people, ate very little meat or none at all in their diet, are now wanting, as they call it, real protein. It is regarded as a status symbol for those that have more wealth
This goes to show how entitled people feel. They do not care that they are killing animals, that animals have a spirit body, that animals go through great pain, fear and suffering. Does the consumer of meat ever think or do they just want what they want. Do these people not care if the world is being destroyed, or maybe, they just need to be shown what is occurring to the planet and be willing to change
I grew up on the land and was grazing animals and ate meat all my life. I did not ever think I was destroying the land or even wonder what damage I was doing to the animals. I did get messages at times, God is always trying to see the sin we have, and sold all the cattle and just had sheep for fine wool production but it was not until I heard about Divine Truth that I stopped eating meat and grazing animals. All animals that are born on the property, unless they died on the property, went to an abattoir
The Damage that Eating Meat is Causing the Planet
Has anyone here seen any hoofed native Australian animals? The reason why no one has, is Australia has very fragile soils, when hoofed animals are introduced on these soils, the soil will be compacted and not be able to absorb water when it rains, water rushes to the gullies causing erosion and the land is also destroyed with the top soil being carried away in the fast moving water. God in her Great Wisdom knew and man has denied and done what man wanted to do
Cattle also trample the banks of water courses, causing erosion of the banks and contaminating the water, the riparian areas are destroyed
Billabong, talked about by early white settlers of NSW and Victoria, were destroyed by sheep and cattle. These were lost very early after colonisation by Europeans
Much of the land throughout the world has already been destroyed, even whole countries have been gradually turned into deserts. Because of lack rainfall in Southern Spain and if the lack keeps happening for a few more years, scientists believe it will turn into desert
Because it does not happen overnight, we tend not to notice and often the next generation, to take ownership, does not know what the land looked like so, the destruction continues
When whole hectares are cleared for grazing animals, there is no protection from the sun, the wind, or heavy rain
The rain then washes away any viable seeds
Erosions will then occur, gradually taking the top soil away and the once fertile country will turn into wasteland
Clearing of forests causes droughts and causes changes in the water table thus causing salinity
Clearing forests and bush land for animal industries results in habit loss throughout Australia, which is the major cause of wild life species becoming threatened, endangered and extinct
Cattle, grazing on the land, especially in a drought, will eat the grass down as far as possible. Each time this happens the plant becomes weaker and weaker and will eventually die, it has lost the energy to keep growing
It is interesting to look at the earlier aerial maps of Australia and aerial maps taken today. You can see the difference in the amount of vegetation that is on the earlier maps and how little is left on the most resent maps. Much of the clearing had already begun before the photos had even been taken. The most noticeable maps to look at are northern Queensland, where much clearing is still occurring
Australia is clearing more land than any other developed country, and is high up in the list with all developing countries. These areas are usually being cleared for the production of livestock
A few Interesting Facts
A cow has 4 stomachs, I won’t go into the digestive process, but methane is produced during digestive process.
Methane is one of the destructive gases causing climate change.
Methane produced by animals is much more dangerous in the short term than CO2, over a 20-year time frame, methane has a worming potential at least 72 times that of carbon dioxide. 1
Animals raised for food in Australia produce about 3 megatons of methane annually. Multiply this figure by 72 and you get a worming equivalent to 216 megatons of Co2.1
The annual output of all Australia put together totals 180 megatons of carbon dioxide1
Over 60% of global human- caused greenhouse gasses, or at least 36.6 billion tons of carbon dioxide equivalent annual emissions can be attributed to live stock and their bi-products. This is taking into account their direct emissions as well as their fuel consumption and energy use in production1
Grazing animals take up nearly 60% of the Australian continent1
Australia is the driest inhabited country on earth1
It takes between 50,000 and 100,000 litres of water to produce 1kilogram of beef compared to only 2,500 litres of water to produce 1 Kilogram of white rice and much less for most fruit and vegetables1
In Victoria, 77% of agricultural water is used for pasture and hay production for grazing animals raised for meat and dairy products. In comparison only 10% is used for the production of fruit and vegetables for human consumption1
According to the CSIRO and the University of Sydney a massive 92%of all land degradation in Australia is caused by animal industries. Plant agriculture, mining, forestry, manufacturing, residential building and all other industries account for the small remainder1
How can we change how people feel about their entitlements?
We need to explain to the consumers of meat, that if they stopped eating animals and fish, farmers would grow something else, such as pulses, fruit or vegetables there are many other occupations the owners of the farm could do e.g. many forms of education
Farmers that wish to remain on their land, we could show them how to regenerate the land. Tourism in Australia is growing at at a fast rate. Grey Nomads, as they are called in Australia, are always looking for places to stay in their caravans and new and interesting things to see. It would be very exciting to see land being regenerated back to its natural condition
Governments could pay farmers for the amount of carbon that is requested on their property
Short term goals is to inform the world that eating meat is destroying the world
Gather as much information that is available to prove what is occurring
Are there other organisations that have the same purpose as we do
Find out what organisations information may present to, such as Land care Groups, Service Clubs E.g. Rotary, Quota, others and Schools
Talk to scientist and others who may have other information that we have been unable to research such as, due to changes in the weather, rising sea water, where the worst destruction is occurring, how much is due to clearing of the vegetation and forests and therefore eating of meat.
Gather together maps, photos and videos that are available
Put information on blog spot
Learn how to write and do a power point presentation
Long term goals
Get together all our short-term goals
Write up our presentations for the different organisations that talks can be given to
Do interviews with government organisations such agriculture, mining, climate change and another’s organisations that may listen
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Anger and Resistance
For some months I have been very angry about everything and I mean everything.
I can not tell you exactly when it started, but I can tell you why. RESISTANCE.
Since hearing about Divine truth I have found out so much about my very early childhood. My guides have been very kind helping me remember.
I do not wish at the moment to talk about my childhood, I wish to talk about what happens when I am resistant about feeling an emotion. As soon as an emotion comes up I need to feel it.
I have felt much sadness about the way I was treated as a child, but had never really felt the anger because if I was angry I was punished. I believe I had every rite to have anger about how my parents treated me, but when it came up I did not want to feel the anger.
As the punishment, from my parents, happened a number of times, I have to feel the grief the same number of times. I need to remember there is anger above fear and fear above grief
I needed to feel the anger but not to project the anger at any one.
I didn’t want to feel the anger because that would take me back to my childhood grief and I didn’t want to go through again the sexual abuse of my father, and violent punishment and the hatred of my mother. I had been through it a number of times, but a number of times is not enough when the emotion has not been fully felt. I feel the same hurt and devastation I felt the first time it happened.
Because of that resistance I began getting angry about everything, a few examples are, I was very , very angry with all men, I have always been angry with men, but this was openly angry.
I was also angry with women.
Events began happening that made me angry, electricians came to do things but they would leave before completing the job and have to come back some time later to finish what they started.
I would order something, after waiting month, I would contact the firm and until they looked in their books they did not remember my order.
Having to go back to the solicitor twice because things weren’t written up the way I asked them to be.
I could keep on going about many other things that occurred and I assure you there were many more.
I, at last, began trying to work out what was wrong. I believe that God, by the Law of Attraction, was trying to tell me something. I have always been a bit slow at working things out and listening to messages, even things people tell me.
Now, after feeling a little of my anger and grief, things have begun to change. Two examples are. The grey water pump would not pump away water, the plumber was here within 2 hours. The solicitors office rang to tell me everything was ready for me to sign.
The biggest thing is I feel the anger going away. Now I do not so angry about what is going on in my life. Things that are happening, that before I was getting angry about, are not making me angry.
So, I have now found that not feeling an emotion causes untold problems for the all the things that occur in my life, nothing runs smoothly if I resist my emotion.
I still have much more to feel about my childhood, but I know now no matter where I am and an emotion comes up I need to feel it then and not put it off.
As Jesus has told us we need to feel all of our emotions.
My parents, even if they have repented for what they did to me, can’t remove the hurt I feel. I have stored the emotion in myself and I have to remove it. The only way I can do this is by feeling the emotion myself and as many times as it is necessary, until it is all gone and I do not feel the emotion any more.
I have also found if I am angry and resistant I cannot forgive the person who harmed me. There is no point even trying to forgive.
Failed Experiment
Nothing we ever do is really a failed experiment, it may not work the way we wanted it to or the way we expected it to but we always learn something.
I wanted to see if vegetables would grow more quickly, use less water, and be more healthy if grown in soil that composting worms had composted or rather decomposed.
So I dug a hole and put some lucerne hay and some manure in the bottom of it…… photo upper left…..at top of page. Next some scraps that Tristan dropped off from the scrap run. photo…… upper right….. Worms were then added and lime spread over the top to prevent it smelling. Another layer of hay and manure ……lower left…..And last of all cardboard on top. I then left it for a few weeks.
When I took the cardboard off, the scrapes were gone, I could only find one worm, and it was very hot inside the hole, then a rat jumped out. I got a fright, as I was kneeling on the ground, so did not see if it was a native rat or an introduced one.
So some of the things I learnt were:
If you construct something that is warm, covered from the elements, has food near by, and all the comforts of a home, something will occupy it.
Composting occurs very quickly. I do not know how to how to prevent composting. Decomposing takes longer but is better than composting because the heat in the compost destroys all the good microbes in the soil, there for composted soil has no life.
All is not lost, I still have a vegetable garden. I will just add in some of the soil I removed, put in some soil other composting worms have made, then plant some vegetables.
The change in Australian Landscape by clearing of the vegetation
Australia was claimed by England in 1770 with the so-called discovery of the Great Southern Land by Captain James Cook. The land was said to be uninhabited even though fires were recorded as being seen right up the east coast. The environment was being managed by the people who had lived on the land for many thousands of years, and knew how, probably after many mistakes, how to live in this fragile environment.
Australia was set up as a penal colony in 1788, so to begin with only the 1000 people, between 700 and 800 convicts a retired naval officer in command and 160 mariners for defence. Free settlers, a few, began arriving in 1793.
The first land grants were made in New South Wales in1787. The Governor was authorised to make grants only to liberated prisoners and to each unmarried man was not to exceed 30 acres. In 1798 this was extended to free migrants and to marines serving in NSW, the maximum grant was not to exceed 100acres. In many cases these grants were made conditional upon a proportion of the land being cultivated.
In 1834 much of the land in NSW had been surveyed. A rush of people began settling these areas, they were known as squatters. The person I called my father descended from a squatter family. Huge areas of forest and scrub were cleared for pasture and crops along the coast and inland. By 1860, after 70 years, there were 1.2 million acres under crop and 25 million head of livestock.
Clearing along river banks was forbidden but ignored, the same as it is being ignored to-day along the rivers emptying into the Great Barrier Reef. In 1948 because of clearing along river banks and over grazing in the Hunter Valley it was estimated soil loss from erosion was765,000 cubic meters annually.
With the Soldier Settler Farming schemes, because of caveat and lease requirements, in NSW, Queensland and Victoria, hundreds and thousands of hectares of trees were ring-barked and burnt. These areas then lost the bird and wild life. It is estimated that because of the loss of biodiversity 45% of woodland birds were lost.
Bush Heritage Australia says about 90% of native vegetation in the eastern temperate zone has been removed for agriculture, industry, transport and human habitation. About 50% of the rainforest have been cleared. Up to 2001 around 5% of Australia’s higher plants, 7% of reptiles, 9% of birds, 9% of freshwater fish, 16% of amphibians and 23% of Mammals are listed as Extinct, Endangered or Vulnerable.
The Bush written by Don Watson talks about the first settlers in the Gippsland area of Victoria and how the gigantic trees were fallen and burnt. And how after a paper mill came to the area the destruction caused along the creeks and water ways. Goannas, lizards, wombats, koalas, potoroos, pademelons, tiger cats, quolls, platypuses, gliders, ringtails, echidnas, and how many other species vanished with these remnants of the forest.
In the New England area of NSW where I spent the majority of my life on grazing properties [ I am one of the people who has contributed to the destruction of Australia] I remember the stories told of earlier times how in one area 50,000 koalas were taken for their pelts. These were sent, most likely to England, and if anything like, other skins or pelts sent to England, were not cured properly so were destroyed. The property they came from was open country with trees in nice proportion, this was because the koalas ate many of the small germinated trees that grew. What then occurred was all the small trees grew. In the late 70’s early 80’s these and many large trees were removed by two tractors with a chain between them taking all in its path. We discovered that the rain fall amount had diminished on our property and we estimated our totals had moved 10 miles closer to the east.
I remember my early childhood wandering around the property alone, my favourite place along a small creek with lots of tee tree, wattles, gums and some black berries. It was cool along the creek and I was fascinated by the diversity of life, I discovered how tadpoles grew into frogs, how dragon flies could touch the water and then fly off again, how many different spiders there where and could not understand why people were afraid of them. I saw my first snake and ells and didn’t know the difference and was not game to ask in case I was prevented from my wanderings.
A few years ago, I was talking to people who now own the property where I grew up and talked about my early exploits. She asked me what creek it was and when I told her, she said that creek only runs now just after rain.
The property where I spent my adult life was the homestead block of one of the first stations squatted on in the area. There were, on most of the country, very old trees the other trees had all been cut down or rung barked many years before. You could see by the sheering shed, the old blacksmith shop and other buildings, how large the trees must have been, as these were all built out of wooden slabs cut from trees on the property. Not many of the old remaining trees seeded and if they did stock ate them so none grew to maturity.
In the year1980 I took over the day to day running of the property and slowly began planting trees and fencing off any remnant vegetation. But I still sprayed paddocks with round-up, killing all the native vegetation, and planting introduced species, thus destroying diversity of the vegetation. Fertiliser was also applied and I discovered it was being looked up in the soil so the soil remained acidic. I still ran beef cattle, I cried when I sent steers, male cattle, to the abattoirs. It took me awhile to realise I was killing God’s creation and sold all the cattle. I didn’t want to cry again and feel what I was doing. I also grew merino sheep for their wool and because it was desired for the type of wool it was there was no trouble selling cull sheep to re-stockers, this I thought was ok, but every animal that does not die on a farm is sent to an abattoir. Exception horses.
It is 13 years since I sold the property and am just really feeling all the harmful destruction I have caused both to the animals and the land and also myself. Why did it take so long? Why didn’t I see earlier the damage and destruction I was causing? How much am I still suppressing my childhood and not feeling? How much am I still not seeing the other things I have done to harm all of God’s creation? How much am I suppressing what others have done to me?
I would just like to say, in my opinion, the reason we are destroying the world, that God created for us to live in, is greed. We want to eat meat, sea food and dairy products. If we didn’t eat these things think of the amount of land that would be left to the environment, for trees to grow, for wildlife to thrive and multiply, for river and creeks to stop silting up and run clear and fresh, for seas and lakes to be filled with life. We can live very well eating vegan. We would need far less land for agriculture, far less doctors, pills and portions. What about the size of the houses we live in, and what they are made of, how much energy are we using to run them?
We need to sit quietly see what we are doing, what we have done in the past, and see if we want to change anything. If we do wish to change, what is it we want to change, how will we do it, and what do we do instead?
If you would like to read any more about land clearing in Australia here are some links:
Bush Heritage Australia Website
Moving House
I have now been in my house for over a month, it is so great, I can do as I please, where as with the rented house I felt very restricted. As you can see above all my herbs were in an old wash tub. I moved them into pots for the move and they are now planted out into a herb garden. Debosia has been used as a mulch.
These photos are of packing up. I would like to thank Mary, Barb,Lena, Eloisa,Kelly, Cavil,Tristan, Corny, Pete and Igor for helping me pack up and unpack.
