I could have used many headings to begin this blog, some of them are used as headings on the blog.
When did I get old?
It occurred a lot earlier than I admitted to myself. Instead of as the saying goes, grow old gracefully, I grew old kicking and screaming. It is probably because I rejected growing older because I had seen the restrictions of old age in other people and did not want to be like they were.
If I had realized my capabilities would deteriorated after I turned seventy, I do not think I would have moved to Queensland. I am not sorry that I did as the amount I have learnt from Jesus and Mary and the love I have been surrounded with is unbelievable.
I have gained so much knowledge and am surrounded by loving people living at Wilkesdale. Not all of it has been easy by any means my life and many things I believed in needed to change and still do need to change. I have been told of my emotional injuries and like many of you rebel frequently by not wanting processing through them. I say to myself how many times do I need to go to this injury before it goes away. The answer comes back straight away, until it is no longer there.
It sounds silly to say that I do not remember growing old. I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and said to myself you are old, how did that happen? It just creeped up on me.
I should have realized that I had grown old as the kind people around me would say, I will carry that for you, or point out a danger ahead. I also so should have realized as I could not do the things I use to do. I also was getting tired easily.
It is all denial not wanting to know.
I have always physically worked and although had a computer to do the BAS, business activity statement, for income purpose, I did nothing else on the computer.I did not even have an email address. I feel ashamed I did not have the desire to educate myself, not just on the computer but many other things that could be useful for God’s Way Ltd. I also got all my worth by doing things from physical work and seeing the result.Most of this was improvements on the properties that I owned. Not all the improvements I did were beneficial to the land such as using round up and destroying native pasture. Some of the good things I did was planting native trees and repairing soil erosion. There is grief to feel through.
You have experienced your body shale changing at different times during your life. It will also change when you turn 70 years of age. My Aunt told me when I turned 70 years old I would get a pot belly, the morning I turned 70 years of age I felt my tummy and it was exactly the same. But now I do have a pot belly. I have also shrunk in height.
Why am I still alive.
I often wonder this. I am the only one in my family still alive.I do not expect my parents to be still alive but why have I lost one sister and two brothers. I do have two nephews that spent much time with me when they were young. I speak to one of them frequently, they both live in NSW so see them very infrequently. It is a comfort to know that all of you are my brothers and sisters.
What happens to you physically when you get old. I do not know what it would be like if I had worked through my emotional injuries. This is what it is like the way I am now.
If you go and see a doctor these days you never leave until you are offered a number of drugs for many ailments the doctor thinks you have. These days there seams to be a drug for every ailment, even a sore toe. The drug companies instruct the doctors what drugs to subscribe for any ailment you have.
There are many people now addicted to painkillers. I find it interesting how they are called painkillers because that is what many of these drugs do,they kill people. Drugs keep people alive when they could be happier in the spirit world. Why are many people afraid to die?
I know some drugs do help you to survive some illness and relieve the the condition of others. I believe they help while you can work on the emotional injury that is causing the illness. At the moment I am taking a blood thinner so that blood can pass through the valves of the heart more easily But I have refused all other medication that was recommended .
When we get older more illnesses become evident. I have been wondering why, it has to be a build up of our emotional injuries that we have not released.
Although I have illness through my life,some life threatening, they have all gone away. I have had Atrial Fibrillation since 2007, well before I knew anything about Divine Truth. It began suddenly and was very frightening, I called the ambulance, went to hospital and was there for a week being pumped with drugs which did not help, then had a cardio-version where a defibrillator was used to stop the heart and then restart it. I use to go into AF every now and again, it is now permanent and has been for a few years. I need to work through my fear and grief mainly of childhood although there is also grief and fear throughout my life. If I don’t work through my emotional injuries I imagine the heart will just stop.
Jesus has said it is easier to work through our emotional injuries now than in the spirit world. I have a lot of work to do.
Aches and Pains.
I do not think they get much worse the older you become but they do take longer to go away.I think a lot depends on what type of things you are doing.I know being on the computer for a time my shoulders become stiff and now physical working because I am not doing it all the time. As I am not as steady on my feet I can run into things, especially if I am rushing. Balance sometimes is also a problem. Your reflexes are also getting slower and slower. I have also found that if I do not take a magnesium tablet every night I get cramps in my legs.
Tiredness and Slowing Down.
I an often still tied when I wake up in the morning. I need a rest if I do some physically work,two hours of physical work is plenty. If sorting seeds or collecting same I usually rest after lunch or whenever I complete what I am doing. I can see the older I get the less I will be able to do. For some reason this makes me feel guilty and useless,no one feels this about me. More things to feel about and why I feel this way.
A quote in the poem For the Fallen by Laurence Binyon. They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
Weary is a word that is not used much anymore but it is very apt for the way I sometimes feel.
When I was younger it was like this I must have ,that I cannot do without and sometimes it was just something I wished to achieve. I went out and achieved what I wanted. Many times it was much work and time taken to get what I wanted,some were great and others were not so great. Now I have not got the desire or need for things, the only want I have is a true relationship with God.
I find that in conversation with others I often pause a little before answering especially if in a group or often I just let others talk even if I wish to say something. I don’t think I have always been like this. Maybe this is because most of the people I mix with are younger than I am and have different ideas and feelings. I also find that I forget things , that happens if I am tied and I am often tied. Concentration, I often find in a group of people drifting away in thought and need to be alert to this as I often miss important things.
Anxiety and worry.
This is more pronounced the older I get. I ponder whether I will do something, where before I just did it. I now worry if it was the right thing that I did. I worry that I am going to be late or say the wrong thing. I am not worried about going to the spirit world, it will just show me much about the life I lived on earth and the things I need to rectify.
Through the ages.
Through the ages it is seen that people live for a longer or shorter period. In the bible many live to a great age, 500 years or more .When Adam and Eve came to earth they would have been in the 6th sphere, their life span would have been greater. When people began committing sin their life would have become shorter.
It has been document that the more affluent a Nation is, even a suburb in a city or people living in remote communities have different life spans. The poorer the people are the shorter their life span is.
So there can be many reasons for the life span that we may have.
In my lifetime the happier and more settled I am the less I weigh. I am around the heaviest I have ever been and there is very little muscle it is all fat and fat weighs less than muscle. I find I am eating the same amount of food now as when I was physically working. Many people are the opposite and loose weight when they age. I need to change my eating habitats because the older we become the more nourishing the food needs to be but the amount we eat less.
Often older people are ignored by those others younger than themselves. It is a shame really they could learn many things from listening to older people.
As you age I have found many memories come back of your younger life that you have wiped from your memory, some are good memories and others not. I wonder if it is because it is better to go through our injuries before we go to the spirit world or we have more time to reflect.You have more time as I have found if I get 6 hours sleep it is a good night.
How much older will I get before I Die.
I do not know how much older I will be but I have lived a very interesting and full life and am in some ways am looking forward to the spirit world. There are many friends living there and many things I would like see, learn about and help with. When we do go to the spirit world we cannot help people on earth
I did not intend to write this blog in the way I have, it was meant to be more general and not talk about myself too much. But How could I talk about it if I did not use myself as an example but I now realize if I didn’t I could not write about ageing . Your aging and old age may be completely different to mine.
Enjoy and accept getting older it should be enjoyable and rewarding.